Story by Steph

My journey with exercise started out fueled by an eating disorder and a desire to be smaller. After years of silently struggling, I found a community of women on Instagram and an amazing partner who helped me learn to love myself.

 

When I first discovered my love for running, I struggled with feeling like I did not belong. I did not like the cover models on Runner’s World, I was slow, and I could barely make it a mile. I got it in my head that making myself smaller would make me a better runner, but instead it launched a war with my own body. I started heavily restricting my diet which led to a vicious cycle of bingeing and purging and eventually led me to multiple running injuries including 3 stress fractures.

 

I decided to start a running Instagram for accountability and a way to track my progress, but it quickly morphed into something much bigger. For the first time I was seeing countless women just like me and I started to feel like I belonged. I remember the first time I discovered Kelly Roberts Badass Lady Gang and a video of her running through central park in a sports bra – it was life altering and helped me step out of my comfort zone and stop caring what people thought of me. I slowly started to practice positive self-talk and not let my negative body image consume me.

 

It was a slow process, but I started noticing an improvement in my mood the less I focused on my body and with the help of my fiancé I started fueling my body the way I am meant to. I don’t remember when the shift happened, but I hit a point where my desire to be happy outweighed my desire to be skinny and I started living my life again.

 

As someone very active on social media, I want my presence to help other runners who are struggling with feeling like they belong in this community. I am conscious not to post what my food or meals look like, I keep it transparent and honest when I have bad days or bad runs, and I really emphasize loving yourself and your body.

 

Now, here I am – 2 marathons, 20 half marathons, and countless distances in between running happy and healthy. There are no daily weigh ins, there is no counting calories or restricting food. The thoughts still creep in sometimes, but I have the tools to stop them. Now, there is just me and my desire to run because it brings me joy.