Story by Emily

 

I have always played sports as a kid, and throughout high-school/college, but going for a run was never something I just did. Not until I had the hardest year of my life in 2013, where I truly struggled in my first year of college and felt like I had lost all control. I went through some really tough times and had a lot of energy built up in anxiety alone. I didn’t know how to release that energy other than to move, so I went for a run. Since then, I have never stopped running. Running and I have a much different relationship these days – healthier I would argue – but I’ll never forget that first 4 mile run that changed everything for me.

 

10 years later I was set out to run my 4th marathon, the Chicago Marathon, which I had qualified for the year prior. I had qualified for a marathon?! 10 years ago, I would never have believed it.

 

The city felt like it was buzzing. I woke up at 4:30AM on race day to walk to the start line. The line to get to the corrals was slower and longer than anticipated, so by the time I was through I had 20mins to get to my corral and use the bathroom. Well, that’s not gonna happen in 20mins. As I’m standing in a long line panicking that I would miss my start time, 3 other girls are looking around with the same color bibs as mine, desperately finding somewhere they could discretely use the bathroom. We banded together and decided to squat behind a very thin tree. We laughed as the men headed over to use the same bush and were shocked to see us there. We wished each other luck and headed off. This was when I realized everything was going to be okay today. I line up and set out for my marathon.

 

I did everything my coach instructed me to. I felt incredible. I relaxed and let my legs do their thing. I remember sending a selfie to my friends and family at mile 16, feeling on cloud 9. If I kept this pace, I was going to run under 3:15:00. After mile 18, I used the mantra “this is not your wall”. A mantra I have never used in a marathon before. The idea that I could choose when I got tired or when I was allowed to feel the pain felt extremely liberating and really worked for me. I felt like a superstar as Rob Perez yelled my name and snapped photos! I wondered if the wall would even come. Mile 23 is when I felt the pain. I told myself “here it is, it’s okay to feel it, but don’t let it get to you” and I pushed on with new mantras.

 

Before I knew it, I had crossed the finish line in 3:11:05. I immediately cried. This is marathoning. This is why we love the process of running. This is why I continue to choose to run my heart out. Victory. Through running, we see how capable we truly are and how much control we truly have of our own destiny. We talk to ourselves like we are our own best friends and celebrate all we’ve done to get to that finish line. The training and the years of running is the marathon, and the marathon is really the celebration.